Elevate Your Health Colorado To Wait or Not to Wait??

I think I have mentioned in previous blogs that I teach the “Human Development,” or HD, class at school-grades 4-8.  By the time I’m teaching the 8th graders, we are discussing everything.  There are many topics I wish I did not have to talk to 8th graders (13-year-olds!) about, but the reality is, information is out there, on the Internet, in the music they listen to, from their friends.  It's often not completely accurate and really kind of scary.  And, some kids will be becoming sexually active, even at that young age.  I wish I could say I have never delivered a baby of a 13-year-old mother, but I have, and that’s a tough situation.

When I teach the 8th graders, I really try to emphasize that they should wait to have sex until they are married, or at the very least in a stable, committed relationship with a house and a good job and a good income, and the means to care for a family.  But what I know is that the vast majority of kids do not wait for marriage.  And quite frankly, if a kid decides to wait to become sexually active until they are married, that is going to be a decision they make based on their own value system, not because their 8th grade HD teacher told them to wait.  Nonetheless, I feel its my obligation as a Gynecologist and mother to tell those kids to wait.

So, while trying to talk to the kids about the importance of waiting -- being emotionally and psychologically ready, staying safe from infections and unintended pregnancies -- I still want to make sure they have the facts, and know how to protect themselves.

Here is a scenario that I’d love to know what you think about:  One of my patients has a 17-year-old daughter.  The daughter is a very smart, serious girl.  She will, in all likelihood, be applying for and then attending a top-notch college, and going on to do great things.  She is about to start her senior year in high school.  She’s had a lot of stressors in her life, and finally, she met a sweet boy, who is kind to her and makes her very happy.  It's really her first serious boyfriend and now they have been dating about 4 or 5 months. 

She told her mother, my patient, that she had become sexually active.  Her mother told the dad their daughter now needed birth control.  This woman has been my patient for many years, and I met this daughter when she was just a toddler, so we are all just dropping our jaws that she has moved into this stage of life. 

But it seems to have occurred in really an optimal way -- this girl will now remember her first sexual experience fondly, she has been open with her parents and fully intends to take proper precautions (though accidents can happen...).  And it is hard to deny that she seems quite happy.  So, much as I hate to admit it (I do have 3 daughters after all), I really think this is probably ok.  Not all 17-year-olds are the same though.  Not all would be ready to take this step and really be able to handle it.  But this girl seems ready, and she’s being smart, as she always is.  

What do you think??